May 26, 2021 – All of God’s children

This week another mother in our neighborhood joined me as a mother whose son was taken to his heavenly home far too soon.  Unfortunately there was a car crash near our home that took the life of her sixteen-year-old son, through no fault of his own.  It broke my heart to learn about this tragic situation, because I know all too well the feelings of a mother who has unexpectedly just lost her boy.

I held it together pretty well when I first found out, mostly because I could tell the person who was telling me was having a difficult time with the situation as a friend of this family’s.  Secondary loss can be just as tragic.  But later that night, I found myself in tears and unable to sleep because I remember so well that first night and how difficult and dark it was.  It was without a doubt the worst night of my life, and it hurts my heart to think about another mother and family going through that same pain. My heart always really hurts the first night I learn about families and mothers facing loss, because I think that first night is the worst as you settle into your new reality.  Thankfully I found that the sun still rose the next day, but getting through that first night was a big feat in my mind and probably the biggest accomplishment I could think of at the time.

As I laid awake thinking about this young man being taken to his heavenly home and my sweet Benny being there as well – much to the hurt of two breaking mama hearts – I came across this quote from a recent talk by President Russell M. Nelson that hit me in a new way:

“Each of God’s children deserves the opportunity to hear and accept the healing, redeeming message of Jesus Christ. No other message is more vital to our happiness—now and forever.”

I often think about the missionary work that occurs in this world and the way we as humans can spread the good word of the Lord’s gospel on earth, and the fact that often we talk about the strength of the youth who are here now to be able to handle the crazy challenges this world has to offer.  But as I read this quote last night, I considered that ALL of God’s children includes those on the other side of the veil as well.  In fact, there’s way more of His children there than here.  So, it made me think that as much as the Lord needs us building His kingdom here and sharing His message of love and peace with those who are living, surely He needs just as many – if not more – strong spirits on the other side also spreading His good word. 

I think my Benny is one of those strong spirits.  Too strong for even this world, maybe.  We’ve always kind of felt that.  But I’ve also felt so many reassurances over the past six months that even though Benny has passed on, he is busy as ever watching over our family and loved ones and sharing the Lord’s love.  I know his little spirit is a precious one of our Heavenly Parents, and I’ve been rethinking a bit the idea that he’s just gone and instead trying to focus on the fact that he is doing incredible work on the other side.  As much as I need him here, the Lord needed him there too.  Not to say the Lord needed him and this was the only way, because I don’t necessarily believe that’s true.  But somehow this was part of our little Benny’s divine mission and that mission now continues in his heavenly home.  And, unfortunately I think there will continue to be a need for more and more strong spirits on both sides of the veil, which means the tragedy our family went through will unfortunately continue to occur.  When I think about the tragedy being transformed through grace though, and through knowing that these children will continue spreading their light and goodness in a new and heavenly way, it definitely helps ease the pain.

Some of the youth in our life are simply incredible and amaze me with their strength, resilience, and testimony.  And as I think about my sweet Benny, and the other young spirits I’ve known to cross the veil in the last few months, I can’t help but be amazed at them as well. 

I would certainly never pretend to understand the Lord’s plan in needing to take His children home prematurely (or what feels like prematurely to our mortal minds), but one thing I do know is that He does have one.  He absolutely has a plan.  I’ve seen it in my life in so many ways, and I’ve learned that when I trust it, things turn out far better than I could have expected.  I don’t totally know how that will be the case in this situation, or in any heartbroken mama’s situation, but I absolutely believe somehow it will be.  I trust that.  I believe it with all of my heart.  God wants all of his children to feel of his love and then be able to share it, and I know that includes me and my little Benny as well.