December 7, 2020 – Don’t go down the rabbit hole

In my work, a common challenge in a technical presentation is avoiding “rabbit holes” which are essentially a line of questions or discussion that don’t actually lead the conversation to a valuable outcome. Falling down a rabbit hole can take up all the limited time that you may have with a customer or lead to a series of topics that entirely derails the enthusiasm for a particular solution or creates feelings of negativity all around technical nuances that aren’t actually critical to the success of a project or discussion. As such, a key to delivering a good technical presentation is avoiding rabbit holes!

Today is a Monday and we have found that Mondays are now difficult as they are a strong reminder of what happened on a Monday morning just three weeks ago. This seems to now be a trigger that causes a flood of memories to come rushing back concerning all that happened on that fateful Monday morning. My mind keeps playing through all that happened, the feelings, the pain, the shock, the sorrow — all of which feels like it leads down a dark hole. A rabbit hole with only dark, negative, and all-consuming feelings that eliminate motivation, joy, happiness, and optimism. 

One thing that is helpful for me on days like this is to get outside and go for a run. Similar to the experiences that Tiffany has had during her walks with Benny, my “fast paced walks” have been a consistent source of connection with our angel boy as he’s filled my thoughts, reframed my perspectives, and given me comfort. Today was no different and it was extremely beneficial to get out, to feel Benny, and to have thoughts and feelings come to mind that both help me feel better and help me realign my focus.

While on my walk today I felt the sweet comforting presence of Benny reassuring what I have felt before — that he is well and happy. It is such a strength to have these assurances, especially on mornings like today where I start to go down that dark rabbit hole of loss and negativity. It immediately brings back light and joy and helps me change my focus. With those comforting feelings I am gently reminded that I don’t need to go down the rabbit hole that takes away the light and hope. I strongly felt that Benny wants us to be happy and for us to always allow light to fill our lives. 

Recognizing that there are many triggers that can set off the flood of memories and emotions that will bring us down the dark rabbit hole if we follow them, I found myself questioning how I can avoid this and how to be able to stay in the light. Once again I felt the gentle reminder of what I have felt before, which is to change my focus from these events and to focus on others through service. This experience has taught me so much about what service truly looks and feels like. It has filled my heart with not only gratitude for all those who know how to serve and who have served us in so many ways these past few weeks, but also with a great desire to be able to serve others how we have been served. 

I am grateful for the light that Benny brought back to me today as I started to get lost in the rabbit hole. I’m grateful for the sweet assurance that he is happy and well. I’m grateful for the gospel of Jesus Christ and the knowledge that it provides of a plan designed by a loving Heavenly Father that gives us hope and perspective to face the trials and challenges during this life, as well as the comfort that flows from our faith that our loved ones are nearby and that we will have the opportunity to see and be with them again. I’m grateful for the tender impressions that the Spirit whispers to our hearts and minds to help us see things from an eternal perspective and to learn and grow from the mortal experiences and trials that come our way. I’m grateful for the reminder to avoid going down rabbit holes not only with my work, but also in dealing with these feelings of loss of our sweet angel boy.

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