Today we received the video from the funeral home of Benny’s memorial service. We wanted to post it here to reflect that specific aspect of this experience, as well as for any family members or friends who may not have been able to participate with us that day.
Benjamin Jerry Bowcut's Memorial Service - Friday, November 20, 2020
It’s interesting to look back on this now and remember the thoughts and feelings we were having. Your son’s funeral – something no parent expects or ever wants to go through. But for us, it actually turned out to be an unexpectedly sweet and special day.
Earlier that day our dear prophet, President Russell M. Nelson, shared a worldwide message on the healing power of gratitude. In it, he even referenced the fact that he too has lost a child (two, in fact) and the strength he has felt through his faith as he went through those experiences. This part of his message resonated deeply with us because of what we had faced that week, and it felt like such a tender mercy and poignant reminder to us that the Lord is aware of us and our circumstances. It also helped us relate to our wonderful prophet more, in a unique way that losing a child can do.
What a powerful “coincidence” it was that the day we’d be having Benny’s funeral, our prophet would issue a clarion call for gratitude throughout the world. His message helped us view that day of the funeral differently. Instead of getting caught up in the pain and grief of saying goodbye to our Benny, instead we tried to see the experience through a lens of gratitude, as the prophet had suggested. It made such a difference. Don’t get me wrong – it was still one of the most difficult experiences of our life, and seeing the casket close on our angel son as we said our final goodbyes hurt our hearts more deeply than we can express. But amidst the pain was the prophet’s reminder to be grateful, and looking back now, we can feel how that changed our experience. Thankfully it doesn’t all feel quite as raw now, but we were very blessed that day in so many ways.
After the funeral, some of our incredible neighbors and friends had prepared a luncheon for our family. One of the women in our neighborhood, whom I’ve never actually met, said she felt a special connection with Benny and played a big part in that luncheon. She did so from her home since she was dealing with some very serious health problems (which is why I’d never met her), but still she contributed so much in her own special way. It meant the world to our family and it was humbling for us to be so selflessly served by someone who was struggling herself but who felt a connection with our angel boy.
Last night this incredible neighbor passed away. When we heard, I couldn’t help but imagine how special the meeting in heaven must have been between her and Benny. I’m just certain my angel boy ran to give her a hug and that they shared a wonderful, light-filled moment of happiness. Our dear neighbor inspired so many with her goodness, including us, and so has our angel Benny. Perhaps that’s why they had a special connection. Goodness attracts goodness.
There was a really beautiful sunrise this morning and sunset tonight that made me think of both of them. Such beauty and goodness painted in the sky by our incredible neighbor and our sweet angel Benny. Heaven is definitely shining a little brighter lately.
It’s been a whirlwind seven weeks since the day of Benny’s memorial. Some good days, some bad. But thankfully all touched by the light and goodness of our angel boy. We’ve seen the healing power of gratitude in our lives throughout this experience, and in keeping with that spirit, we continue to be ever grateful for the gift of five months with our Benny and for the knowledge that families are forever.
Beautiful!