Month: December 2020

I trust that things will get better. Not that earthly life without Benny is better, because I don’t believe that. But I do believe, with everything in me, that our Benny is still very much part of our eternal family and that he can help us become better, too. … Read More >December 15, 2020 – Better again

Mondays are tricky days for me now. I find myself not wanting to go to bed on Sunday nights because I’m afraid of what Monday morning may bring. … Read More >December 14, 2020 – Mondays

The days seem to get a little easier, and then all of a sudden they get harder. But, when the Lord sees fit to provide us an opportunity for growth (which typically manifests in a really difficult trial), I believe He also provides us reminders that He is there and that He loves us. … Read More >December 13, 2020 – Trusting the Lord…still

I’ve been searching for light ever since Benny passed away. I’m drawn to light that reminds me of him. I was hoping we could find a way to somehow light our home this holiday season, but it felt like only a wish. … Read More >Lights and a silent prayer

Along our path of grieving and healing, we continue to find ups and downs. Some days are much more difficult than others. I’m grateful for the strength I have found this week in being reminded that Benny is in good hands – and so are we. … Read More >December 12, 2020 – In good hands

I’ve realized in the last few days that while I feel like overall I am processing my grief and coping fairly well (all things considered), there’s still a part of me that lives in denial. Denial that my Benny is actually gone. … Read More >December 11, 2020 – Denial

We often hear that “comparison is the thief of joy.” I know I’ve felt that in my life. But today I’ve been thinking about how comparison may also be the thief of sadness, and that isn’t a good thing either. … Read More >December 10, 2020 – Comparison is the thief of sadness

Today would have marked our angel boy’s six month “birthday.” I never want to forget my sweet boy or what he means to our family. But, I do recognize that I can’t live in the pain forever. … Read More >December 9, 2020 – The missing doesn’t have to hurt

Today I was full of regret. It’s amazing how the loss of a loved one brings up such feelings of regret. … Read More >December 8, 2020 – Happiness and regrets

Mondays are difficult because they are a strong reminder of what happened on a Monday morning just three weeks ago. I am grateful for the light Benny brought back to me today as I started to get lost in the rabbit hole. … Read More >December 7, 2020 – Don’t go down the rabbit hole